When we were young, the pressures of growing up were always present. People would ask us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our storybooks spoke of magical adventures, but no one prepared us for the most magical yet challenging adventure of all—maintaining friendships as adults!
We once saw our friends every day in classes and during lunch breaks, but everyone has their individual lives now. Some are working adults, others are still pursuing higher education, and some are even starting their own families. Our lives have diverged, and maintaining friendships has become more challenging.
What Affects Friendships?
Life Transitions
Big transitions happen as we age! People unfortunately move away, change jobs, others start families and move in with their partners. These big changes can create physical and emotional distance between friends. The demands of adulting often lead us to prioritize work, family, and personal growth over social interactions.
Personal Growth
As we grow older, our interests, priorities, and values may change. This personal growth can sometimes lead to friends growing apart if their paths no longer align. As you approach your late twenties, your time and energy will likely be focused on building your career and family versus going out with friends and meeting new people.
Use of Social Media
Social media can give the illusion of having many friends. While you might like a friend's picture on Instagram, when was the last time you actually had a conversation with them? Social media interactions cannot replace genuine, meaningful connections. Despite the facade of connectedness, many still feel lonely and your friendships can start to feel less genuine than it once was.
The Importance of Friendships
Many friendships start off as being circumstantial, dependent on your life stages and where your interests and hobbies take you. However, you also have full control over who you keep close and how you maintain your connections.
Even though friends may have a lower priority in the busy schedules of adulthood, they will always remain an important part of our lives.
Emotional Support and Stress Relief
Strong friendships offset stressors. As you navigate transitions in your life, you are bound to face difficulties and challenges. This is where friends play a crucial role. Having someone to share your problems with can provide emotional support, relieve stress, and significantly improve your mental health. Friends offer a listening ear, provide valuable perspectives, and help you feel understood.
Combating Loneliness
When all you are doing is working or spending time solely with family, feelings of loneliness can quickly set in. This sense of isolation can take a toll on your mental health, making it crucial to have friends you can turn to. Friendships provide relief from loneliness and offer moments of joy and laughter, making you feel valued and play a vital role in maintaining your overall well-being.
Increased Happiness
Spending time with friends is one of the best ways to boost your mood! Friends bring laughter, joy, and fun into our lives. Engaging in enjoyable activities together and sharing experiences can lead to unforgettable memories and a deep sense of happiness. Studies have shown that social interactions can increase levels of oxytocin, the "feel-good" hormone, which enhances our happiness.
Long-standing friendships, where you’ve known each other inside out and bonded deeply over the years, are hard to let go of. These relationships provide support, joy, and a sense of belonging that is crucial for our social wellness.
What Can You Do About Changing Friendships?
Understand that both your life and the lives of your friends are constantly changing, but friendships are still important. Take the opportunity to reach out and reconnect.
1. Show Up
Friendship is a two-way street. Show up for your friends when they need you. Whether they are going through a rough patch, grieving from the loss of a loved one, or simply being stressed and overwhelmed by life, it's times like these that require you to shift your priorities and be there for your friend.
We get that life can get busy but be there as often as you can. When you have time, go out with your friends, even if it's just for coffee. Make use of the chance to reconnect, check up on them, catch up with them, and talk about your day.
2. A Little Goes a Long Way
Maintaining friendships does not mean having to see each other every day or even talking every day. Sometimes putting in a little effort goes a long way.
If you are in the area, maybe stop by your friend’s office during lunch for a quick lunch date. Send a quick message or make a brief call to show you care.
3. Make Time and Commit
Schedule your activities with friends and put them on your calendar! Use timeboxing, it works. It helps you manage your time by having a visual to-do list on your calendar. It establishes the date of the activity, the timing, and the duration of it.
This puts a strict limit on your activities to ensure you still have time for other things in your life. Timeboxing helps you prioritize and be realistic about your availability, taking into consideration your meetings and other commitments. It makes it easy for you to follow a schedule, balancing social life and work.
4. Go Offline
Yes, you have less time for friends now, so make the time count! Meet each other in real life instead of just texting and liking each other’s pictures. That is not enough! Making shared memories with each other nurtures a friendship and makes each other feel more comfortable around each other.
This allows you to be unapologetically yourself. You build a relationship that allows you to let your guard down, be vulnerable, and embrace the true versions of yourselves without hiding behind a screen.
Conclusion
Adulting brings many responsibilities and challenges, but it’s important not to neglect the friendships that enrich our lives. By being mindful of how busy schedules and individual responsibilities can affect our relationships, we can take proactive steps to keep our friendships strong.
At Friday Social, we believe that friends are an essential part of maintaining a socially healthy life. Our friendship tracker app helps you keep in touch with the friends who matter. It reminds you to make time for them and encourages you to be present and engaged when you do. Ask yourself: When was the last time I reached out? Are my friendships fading? What can I do to nurture them?